Friday, August 7, 2020

Work Is a Waste of Time


Now don’t misunderstand: I am not CATEGORICALLY opposed to work. Some people seem to enjoy creating and producing “useful” things, and if that is how they wish to spend their time and acquire spending money, I certainly must respect their choice. But it IS a choice, and to my mind, a quite unnatural one. You see, we are all born free and lazy. Leisure is our birthright, as aristocrats have always recognized. Wealth, upkeep, and booze should come from elsewhere, preferably the constitutional order of things—the government, inheritance, go-fund-me accounts, and other convenient sources with links on Facebook.


Take the Crawleys of Downton Abbey, for example. They would never even THINK of engaging in productive or utilitarian activity. Rather, they spend their days exercising their God-given right to be civilized human beings. They drink tea, eat salmon mousse, smoke cigars, attend flower shows, shoot grouse, pay visits to other idle people of refinement and conspire to either marry or deceive them. This is the way human life SHOULD be lived, don’t you agree—in total blissful uselessness? 

On the other hand, expecting or obliging people to WORK—unless they absolutely WANT to, of course—is clearly unfair and an egregious abuse of human rights. Work is, let’s face it, a frequent form of discrimination against gullible people. Shouldn’t we all strive, but without too much exertion, to Make Unemployment Fun Again? MUFA.

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