Monday, July 12, 2010

Bark Off

These gizmos are designed to stop dogs from barking.  Apparently, when activated, the "bark off" unit transmits a piercing high-pitched sound that yowling, yipping, yapping dogs find so painful that they are stunned into silence.

Like a mute button, but for real-world situations.

Why hasn't anyone invented something similar for use on human yappers?

The problem, of course, is to generate a sound frequency painful to the yappers, but undetectable to the innocent victim, who merely wishes to be left in peace.

Clearly, there would be no point in creating or acquiring a device that, when engaged, merely increases EVERYONE'S pain.  That would resemble rocking out at the Queen's Garden Party with a boom box blasting 50Cent, Adam Lambert or Tammy Wynette.  Ouch.

I suppose that, as long as all human beings belong, mas o menos, to the same species, we will never be able to discover a frequency that cannot even be discerned by sweet, refined homo sapiens like me--but that simultaneously induces severe auricular discomfort in noisy, loutish homo sapiens like Rush Limbaugh.

Gosh.  I have just admitted that I belong to the same species as Rush Limbaugh.  It's frightening to think it.

Frankly, I'd rather hang out with yowling, yipping and yapping dogs.  So much for Bark Off.

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