AUKUS vs. FRUG (Continuous War)

The new, seemingly redun-dant, anti-China “alliance” between three countries already allied—Australia, the UK and the US—a.k.a. AUKUS—reminds me of “Oceania” in Orwell’s 1984. “The war,” Orwell observes, “is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous.” Thus, in 1984, alliances between super-blocks change abruptly, enemies become allies, history is rewritten, but the essential thing—war—continues: never fought on territory belonging to any of the three superstates, but always in the “neutral” zone of North Africa, the Middle East, Southern Asia. Victory is not a goal—that is impossible, indeed unthinkable. No, WAR, itself, is the goal—the only way to preserve the political and economic status quo.

Analogously, in making its deal with Australia and the UK (one wonders why the British were included,  since they have very little presence in the Pacific these days), the U.S. treated France—and Europe—with the same casual/cynical disregard that Oceania displayed in dumping Eastasia and allying itself with Eurasia, its adversary as recently as the day before. This was shitty, yes, but—you know—it was a “necessary” maneuver to ensure that temporarily absent, but absolutely vital, WARFARE will be promptly resumed and will continue—this time with China and its proxies. French submarines just weren’t nasty enough, don’t you see? They just weren’t sufficiently bellicose to really make the the Chinese squeal.

So, you’ll have to get over it, M. Macron. Or perhaps play a little of the continuous war game yourself. For starters, Mr. Putin would undoubtedly be happy to ally himself with you and maybe Germany against perfidious AUKUS. You could call your real-life version of Orwell’s Eurasia FRUG—FranceRUssiaGermany. With a bit of pot-stirring, a nice war could probably be arranged in, say, Lebanon—which is already a wasteland anyway. Just a suggestion.

Or, alternatively, you could insincerely accept the U.S.’s insincere apology for throwing you under the bus. Honestly, we feel really, really bad that you just don’t seem to understand (despite France’s own distinguished history of self-serving betrayals) how these things work. Of course, we send our thoughts and prayers. At least, you can always count on them.