Secret Trump Voters

Remember Jerry Lundegaard in “Fargo”? If he were voting in this election, I suspect that he would be a “secret Trumpster”—someone who would tell a poll-taker that (like any “good” used-car salesman) he loved decency and compassion and would, of course, vote for Biden. But, in the privacy of the voting booth, he would practically break his pencil in his enthusiasm to release all his hatreds and put an X in the Trump box: blacks, gays, Jews, Mexicans, Muslims, feminists, atheists—not to mention inconvenient wives—all consigned to the Trump woodchipper. In my neck of the woods, these “nice” guys with plodding reptilian brains are much more worrisome—because they are undoubtedly more numerous—than the unapologetically “tough-guy” MAGA-hatters.

Excise Trump, Then Eradicate The Disease

Some diseases are latent, dormant, (some types of TB, for instance) and never manifest themselves unless the body’s immune system becomes too weak to control them. I think something like this is happening to America. Since our very childhood as a nation, we have been infected with racism, xenophobia, religious bigotry, know-nothingism. Our immune system (constitutional structures, judicial conventions, general apathy) has mostly contained the worst flareups, with the notable exception of the Civil War. But now, the constitutional T-cells seem truly worn out. So the infections are taking over. Trump is simply the most prominent carbuncle produced by the current resurgence of the systemic illnesses. I hope we will soon lance this particularly disgusting boil. But, even if Trump is excised, a boil is just a symptom. The deeper question is: can the immune system itself ever recover? And can it ever succeed, as it has never before done, in completely eradicating the sometimes dormant, but hitherto always lurking, American Dumbness Disorder?

 

Why Debate?

Apparently good ol’ Uncle Joe is conscientiously preparing for the final debate, whereas stable genius Trump is blithely ranting at super-spreader rallies. It’s logical, I guess. The general public EXPECTS Biden to manage facts and make sense. No one, however, especially his votaries, has even the remotest expectation that Trump will make sense or utter anything other than whatever addlepated bullshit pops into his head at the moment. The base will roar with approval, even if he does nothing more than belch. And if he shoots himself on Fifth Avenue, well, they will STILL vote for him. So it goes.

Be Afraid.

This is Donald.

Donald is very brave. 

He is not afraid of Covid.

He is not afraid of oxygen masks.

He is not afraid of helicopter rides to hospitals.

He is not afraid of needles and tubes.

He is not afraid of pricey experimental drugs.

Donald will not let Covid dominate his life.

He will continue to take joyrides in hermetically sealed SUVs

    for photo ops.

He will continue to sign blank executive orders

    for photo ops.

He will continue to make ridiculous military salutes on the Truman Balcony 

    for photo ops.

He will not wear a mask. 

He is not afraid.

He is very brave.

He is very delusional.

Don’t be like Donald.

Be afraid.

It Is What It Is

URBAN DICTIONARY: TOP DEFINITION

PANGLOSS

“The philosopher in Voltaire's Candide. He believes ‘All is for the best in this best of all possible worlds.’ Even as he suffers horribly throughout the book [and winds up losing his nose to syphilis] he stands by this concept. By the end of the book, though, he admits ‘he asserted it still, but he no longer believed it.’”

IMO, Donald Trump is our modern Pangloss. His motto is “It is what it is”—a justification for accepting and even encouraging existing or potential evil. This is DJT’s Fake Optimism and the source of all his ludicrous hyperbole. In reality it is a cruel, brutish, pessimistic, and stupid ideology. 

I suspect that many Trump supporters are like poor old syphilitic  Pangloss: they still “assert” the MAGA doctrines, but they no longer truly “believe.” They will continue to vote for Trump, though not out of any real conviction, but merely in order to demonstrate what Emerson called “a foolish consistency.”

Work Is a Waste of Time

Now don’t misunderstand: I am not CATEGORICALLY opposed to work. Some people seem to enjoy creating and producing “useful” things, and if that is how they wish to spend their time and acquire spending money, I certainly must respect their choice. But it IS a choice, and to my mind, a quite unnatural one. You see, we are all born free and lazy. Leisure is our birthright, as aristocrats have always recognized. Wealth, upkeep, and booze should come from elsewhere, preferably the constitutional order of things—the government, inheritance, go-fund-me accounts, and other convenient sources with links on Facebook.

Take the Crawleys of Downton Abbey, for example. They would never even THINK of engaging in productive or utilitarian activity. Rather, they spend their days exercising their God-given right to be civilized human beings. They drink tea, eat salmon mousse, smoke cigars, attend flower shows, shoot grouse, pay visits to other idle people of refinement and conspire to either marry or deceive them. This is the way human life SHOULD be lived, don’t you agree—in total blissful uselessness? 

On the other hand, expecting or obliging people to WORK—unless they absolutely WANT to, of course—is clearly unfair and an egregious abuse of human rights. Work is, let’s face it, a frequent form of discrimination against gullible people. Shouldn’t we all strive, but without too much exertion, to Make Unemployment Fun Again? MUFA.

The Golden Bard



Have you noticed that Donald Trump, in his unmatched mastery of words, is particularly fond of “poetic” devices? Anaphora, internal rhyme, alliteration, hyperbole—and, of course, lots of good old repetition? Here’s his latest political “insight,” cast as a free-verse poem. Isn’t it awesome?

“Not Doing Too Well” (by Donald Trump)

“Biden is going

To do things

That nobody ever

Would ever

Think even possible.

He’s following the radical

Left Agenda

Take away

Your guns,

Destroy

Your Second Amendment.

No religion,

No anything.

Hurt the Bible.

Hurt God.

He’s against guns.

He’s against energy.

Our kind of energy.

I don’t think he’s going to do

Too well 

In Ohio.

He’s not going to

Do well.”